Before it's lost from the net forever:
Subject: New Sexual Technique Revealed (finally!)
Newsgroup: net.singles
Date: Mar 2, 1984, 9:04:45 AM
I've agonized for some time over this, but can't put it off any longer.
I promised to reveal the new sexual technique and that's what I'm going
to do, no matter what the consequences. I'm scared. Threats have been made,
threats which I take seriously, but that's not going to stop me. Most of you
have no idea of what's at stake here. And those that know, know only too
well. But I've made my decision, so here goes.
We, and by "we" I mean myself and the women whose existence mysteriously
ended following her mention of the technique in this forum -- we -- I
use that collective term now because somehow it makes me feel more secure;
it fills me with hope that others will come to my aid when I reveal this
secret of the ages. Well, no matter what the reason, "we" it shall be...we
(she and I) referred to the technique as "new" in our letters, but that is
hardly the truth; it is new only to you. To me and several others it has been
known for some time as jer-as-sanon.
Jer-as-sanon. Remember that name, for it is the name of the most powerful
sexual technique known to man. And remember this: soon it will be
yours to do with as you please.
Jer-as-sanon is not new; in fact it is quite ancient. Its origin, as they say,
is lost in the mists of time. I can trace it back to the era of Cleopatra
because it is through her that I came to know it. Jer-as-sanon was her legacy
to me. Her blood flows in my veins, only a trickle to be sure, but blood
nonetheless. And her secret envelops my soul.
She used the secret well, didn't she? I'm sure you've all heard her story;
there's no use my defending her virtue. She used it well (as soon you
may use it if you so desire). Whether you are male or female is irrelevant;
jer-as-sanon works equally well on either sex. Be prepared. The results
are profound. You will never know rejection once you've
captured the secret of jer-as-sanon. Never again will you hear the word "no"
unless you wish to. Word of your newfound prowess will pass over the
world like a summer breeze, gentle but irresistible, and
there will be knocks at your door, whispered invitations, and much much more.
Very soon your life will change more than you can begin to imagine.
It's heady stuff -- pundits might call it the right stuff -- and for awhile it
will seem as if you've been transported to some fabulous isle where dreams
are real and nightmares don't exist. No more begging or lying or wishing --
just doing. Doing what you've always wanted to do with whoever you wish to
do it.
But there is another side to jer-as-sanon (isn't there always?).
I haven't mentioned the story of my ancestor's death, have I? No. I
always neglect to mention that. Cleopatra lived by jer-as-sanon, and
eventually was consumed by it. You've probably heard the story of the
asp (even then there were cover stories), but
perhaps the more thoughtful amongst you have mused upon the phallic symbology
of the snake...and wondered. If so, then you have perceived some
glimmerings of the truth. The two-edged sword of jer-as-sanon cut deeply
into the soul of my most famous ancestor. She used it well, and she used
it often, and the world washed up at her feet because of it,
but it was an empty hulk of a world seeking...something else. Always sadly
something else. Never she. So one desperate night (not during the afternoon as
false history would have you believe), hoping to salvage some last victory over
her curse, she turned jer-as-sanon upon herself. Sometimes I imagine
she died with a smile upon her lips, but I will never know.
Yes, for awhile jer-as-sanon is beautiful, but then you begin to realize that
something is lacking in your life. The world continues to pursue you
with open arms and pleading eyes, but you perceive that it is
not you they are seeking but the ghost of jer-as-sanon. You may be
able to ignore the doubts at first, certainly you will try, but no one has
ever succeeded in ignoring himself. And it's a cold lonely feeling to rise
from the bed of your thousandth lovemate, with the sick realization that it
was not you they were seeking but something else. Something else. And you
will begin to wish you were that something else. You will begin to
yearn for that long ago day when they came less frequently but they came for
you.
Jer-as-sanon. Remember that name: soon it will be your curse.
But enough of this maundering. It is time now to reveal the secret to you, so
that you may experience the ecstasy of Mara Hari and Casanova and Cleopatra and
me. No longer will jer-as-sanon be a tightly held secret known only to
a few. Now you also can descend into the willing arms of the world armed
with a technique so powerful that some have threatened me with death should
I reveal it. Alluring movie stars and sensuous musicians will flock to your
door, hoping for a glimpse of you, a touch, just a few hours alone with you
and jer-as-sanon. No matter what their famous names -- Debra Winger, Tom
Selleck, Nastassia Kinski, John Travolta -- all of them will either
adore you or envy you, but absolutely no one will deny you once you've
mastered the ecstasy of jer-as-sanon. You will have your
fill of lust and flesh and romance and joy. And the hook of
jer-as-sanon will drive deep into your groin; there is no escaping it.
Why do I do this thing? Why do I condemn you to a lifetime of lust?
We're back to that word again aren't we? -- we -- that's what I want: we.
Ecstasy is such a lonely place, and so I lure you to me with jer-as-sanon.
What an evil person I am. Isn't it enough that I have washed up broken upon
this shoal of endless sexual pleasure? Do I have to involve you also? No.
It isn't fair. I have no right to involve you in my problems. No. Forget
I ever mentioned jer-as-sanon. It doesn't exist.
Goodbye.
--
Don Davis
JHU/APL
...decvax!harpo!seismo!umcp-cs!aplvax!ded
...rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!aplvax!ded
